Shrink Wrapped Liter...

I realize that you are made of high quality “pleather” like those knock off Members Only jackets I used to buy off the back of a truck in Chinatown in the mid 1980s. Still, your posh binding and allegedly embossed cover hardly warrants being encased in Saran wrap like some fetish-inclined...

Limitations

Legendary comedian Rowan Atkinson said once in a bit, “I wouldn’t trust him to sit the right way on a toilet seat.” As a well-traveled, well-read individual, I never imagined myself being that guy.  Then I went to Japan. To be fair, seen through Western eyes, the country is akin to...

Danger Zone My Ass

I’m sorry, but I have to call bullshit on those signs that claim they are monitoring my speed from the sky.  I’ve been caught in speed traps, bested by radar guns, and pulled over by a dozen versions of Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, but in all my years of willfully ignoring big brother’s...

BHAG

Corporate speak annoys me. This is no big revelation.  But I find it ironic when otherwise politically proper junior executives mindlessly toss around buzzwords that might actually offend the tender ears of their colleagues. Consider the acronym BHAG, which stands for big, hairy, audacious,...

Half-Assed Hit Men

Some people just need killing. If you’ve been in a bank line, a children’s shoe store, or a relationship of any kind, you know this to be true. Now, the trouble with murder isn’t the actual act. You’ll get over that quickly enough. No, it’s the logistics. Bodies, dead bodies...