Drunken Pup, Lazy Marketing

28. Drunken PupI’m not one to hoist placards and marshal for causes, but the social ill that is animal alcoholism cannot be ignored. Canines are apparently the most at risk given their affinity for red wine. Must be some Italian Shepherd mixed in with that Bloodhound.

And remember, animal alcoholics are not the only ones to suffer. Pack members, pups, miscellaneous bitches who may or may not be those puppy’s mommas, they all suffer the consequences of a life gone astray.

What’s that?  It’s an ad for stain resistant carpet, you say?

Well who could have cracked that complex visual riddle?  Granted I’m standing in the flooring section of the Home Depot, but cut me some slack.  It’s 6am for Christ’s sake.  I’m not big on subtle.  Want to sell me?  Place your product in a frat house full of drunken, mud wrestling coeds with the school’s wildebeest mascot dropping a deuce in the background.  Then split screen that sum-bitch with a picture of baby lying on a pristine white carpet with a tagline that reads, “Like it never happened.”

I’d buy that.