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Short-Sporting White People

What is it with white people and wearing shorts in January? And don’t give me that nonsense about it not being cold. Maybe your ancestors hailed from Saskatoon, but the last ten generations lived on the same block in Jersey. Cold is cold. But don’t take my word for it, Nanook, just peep at the thermometer. It’s actually called freezing. So put on a pair of pants before I go all Eskimo on your ass and serve you up with a side of baby seal.