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The Unhappy Ending

If you haven’t tried it, you’ve thought about it. Be honest, now.

Here’s the scene. You’re naked, comfortable, slightly aroused from an amazing tension-relieving hour with a sexy young thing who really knows her way around the body. Plus, you’ve been picking up on the signs. A smile. A bit of heavy breathing. Some slight innuendos about pressure and release. So you figure, why not ask for that little something extra.

Yeah, it’s usually about this time that you realize the “heavy breathing” was asthma-induced. The smile was in your imagination. And let’s face it, guys could turn a woman’s cough into a come-on if they’re optimistic and sporting wood.

Here’s a hard-learned lesson. If your masseuse is sporting all white and works at a doctor-referred physical therapy clinic, she probably isn’t going to jerk you off. More likely you’ll end up incarcerated and on the other end of that sexual dynamic.

A Related Note:  To be fair, not getting a happy ending at “Happy Endings Massage” is just false advertising and no one likes a liar.