Doggie Costumes

            It’s not enough that you castrate your little Lhasa Apso. You have to hack off his dignity as well, by dressing him as a gay pirate for Halloween? Enough with the doggie costumes already. While you’re taking pictures and saying, “How cute,” your pup is tapping out a Morse code “kill me” message like that kid in Metallica’s “One” video.