Your Cat

Cats suck. Yes, even yours. There is nothing special about your feline. It isn’t cute. It doesn’t listen. And it can’t do any tricks. It’s just a four-legged, furry prick that scratches my furniture, pees the most ungodly smelling substance on the planet, and makes me sneeze. Cats are food in Thailand and dating deal-breakers here in casa de Jackson. There, I said it.

A Related PSA:  Listen up, ladies. All straight guys hate cats. If your man says otherwise, he’s full of shit. I bet dollars to donuts you and Fluffy hit the bricks once he’s made you meow.