Half-Assed Hit Men

Some people just need killing. If you’ve been in a bank line, a children’s shoe store, or a relationship of any kind, you know this to be true. Now, the trouble with murder isn’t the actual act. You’ll get over that quickly enough. No, it’s the logistics. Bodies, dead bodies...

Starbuck’s Baristas...

This is not even a freaking career choice. It’s just marketing gone wild. Bad enough that I have to pay a 500% mark-up on a cup of black coffee. I refuse to go along with the notion that these pretentious clowns are actually engaged in a legitimate profession. You’re not a java engineer....

The Stop Sign Stupid

What is so hard about negotiating a four-way stop sign? You pull up, note your place in the pecking order, and proceed in a clockwise fashion until it is your turn. It amazes me that the Department of Motor Vehicles issues licenses to hamster heads that can’t work this out. What aggravates...

Psychics

I’m a Darwin kind of guy. If someone manages to scam you, well, you likely deserve the ass-monkeying. The thing that annoys me about psychics is their outfits. I give you kudos for not providing any real service and for basically being balls-out up front with your lack of credentials. But...