Jackson, I’m thinking of getting a personalized license plate. Any ideas? Yes, stick your head in the oven. This sort of state sponsored Twinkie-dickness makes me want to cause a twenty-car pile up. The other day I saw this Ford Focus driving jacktard with a license plate that read...

I feel like life is moving too fast. How can I slow down? Time doesn’t pass you by. You experience every second. Want it to slow down?  Go to the dentist, stand in a bank line, or visit your...

Were people in the 70s really high all the time? First off, thank you for assuming that Jesus was in my homeroom class. Seriously, how old do you think I am? Your question is a no brainer.  Let’s say you were able to gloss over the subtle clues of rampant drug use like disco, the fashion...

I want to propose to my girlfriend without being cliché’.  Any ideas? I know as much about romance as I do East Hungarian cabinet making, but if you want something out of the ordinary try looking ahead. A lot of guys propose on the site of their first date or make reference to a special...

Is it okay to use my smartphone in the bathroom? No, you savage. Texting on the toilet is the social equivalent of masturbating in church. I know Gen-Y is all about multi-tasking, but forcing forth a properly formed fecal formation takes concentration. So pay attention, damn it. On the off...

Would you ever date a girl who didn’t shave?  Sorry, I don’t speak French. Seriously, I’m sure Sasquatch has a lovely personality, but I’m not taking her to the...