Limitations

Legendary comedian Rowan Atkinson said once in a bit, “I wouldn’t trust him to sit the right way on a toilet seat.” As a well-traveled, well-read individual, I never imagined myself being that guy.  Then I went to Japan. To be fair, seen through Western eyes, the country is akin to...

Holding Time

Nothing is more aggravating than being on hold, especially when the vendor in question expects you to tap dance through a series of incomprehensible teleprompts only to be asked for the same nonsensical information two hours later when you finally make it through to some techno-sweatshop phone...

Inefficient Coffee G...

      So let me get this straight. I can silence a bullet fired from a .357, but I can’t contain the ear-shattering emanations from a Starbucks coffee grinder. Seriously? Being tea-bagged by a sumo wrestler would be less distracting than such an auditory assault. Props and Kudos:  That...

IMing

You know what, GenY? I work for a living. I don’t have time to answer every one of your stupid-ass questions the moment they pop into your pretty little head. Make a list, think it through, and then give me a fucking call. Better yet, schedule a meeting. I know you think you can solve world...

Spam

            Advertising: as a capitalist, I’m all for it. But show a little effort, would you? Blasting out billion emails with the random-ass hope that someone will respond is like me leaving a hard copy of this manuscript on the six train and hoping an editor from Random House...

Craig’s List Scammer...

I’m so sick of Prince Nabu assuring me that his personal courier will pay top dollar for my used box spring and dirt collection if only I would forward my most intimate financial details to his man servant, Akeam. What part of cash only and local buyer do you not understand? Of course when...