Sign Flippers

            You’ve seen these acrobatically inclined ass bandits hawking everything from model homes to coffee bar grand openings. How does your career go so far into the shitter that you not only take this job, but get so good at it that the boys down at Ringling Brothers conference...

BHAG

Corporate speak annoys me. This is no big revelation.  But I find it ironic when otherwise politically proper junior executives mindlessly toss around buzzwords that might actually offend the tender ears of their colleagues. Consider the acronym BHAG, which stands for big, hairy, audacious,...

LinkedIn

Hey Gen-Y, guess what?  LinkedIn is not the new MySpace. You don’t increase your value to potential employers by randomly connecting with thousands of other smartphone wielding tard monkeys who have no relevance to your chosen profession. Seriously, that just makes you look awkward and...

Corporate Speak

If I hear one more junior executive talk to me about the big picture impact of reducing silos in an effort to enhance departmental synergy and create more bandwidth so we can better leverage our customer-focused client portfolio, I’m going to take the conversation off-line and empower myself...

Hand-Me-Down Clothes

You’re not poor unless you went to school sporting someone else’s jeans with a patched knee and a coat that was either two sizes too small or so big your mom (that crazy bitch) tried to make you and your brother wear it at the same time. Forget fashion and style. A poor kid’s clothes are...

Thunder Thief

Do me a favor Mr. senior executive.  Avoid belching forth the phase, “I don’t mean to steal Jackson’s thunder, but…” Let’s face it. That’s exactly what you intended to do. Don’t get me wrong. I get it. You’re out of touch, ill informed and about as productive as a...