Jesus Food

      There is a dish commonly served in restaurants all around Asia called “Buddha Jumped Over the Wall in a Clay Pot.” I’m not shitting you. Look it up. Anyway, that to me screams accessibility, humility, and a pretty good sense of humor. Want to get people excited about the body of...

Sign Flippers

            You’ve seen these acrobatically inclined ass bandits hawking everything from model homes to coffee bar grand openings. How does your career go so far into the shitter that you not only take this job, but get so good at it that the boys down at Ringling Brothers conference...

Danger Zone My Ass

I’m sorry, but I have to call bullshit on those signs that claim they are monitoring my speed from the sky.  I’ve been caught in speed traps, bested by radar guns, and pulled over by a dozen versions of Sheriff Rosco P. Coltrane, but in all my years of willfully ignoring big brother’s...

BHAG

Corporate speak annoys me. This is no big revelation.  But I find it ironic when otherwise politically proper junior executives mindlessly toss around buzzwords that might actually offend the tender ears of their colleagues. Consider the acronym BHAG, which stands for big, hairy, audacious,...

Dandruff

Just another helpful sex prevention tool. Who needs condoms or open sores? Nothing says “you’re jerking off tonight” like large flakes on a rented prom...